reflections of a postpartum doula
By Joyce
What is it like to have the support of a postpartum doula? Looking for some helpful thoughts & ideas to consider as a postpartum family? I hope you'll find some valuable information here.
What to expect during a postpartum doula visit
Visits with your doula always begin with an assessment of your needs and setting up goals for your time together; discussing and fine-tuning your care so that it is unique to you and your baby and to that particular day. A first visit will most likely focus on your birth and your perinatal recovery; your baby's feeding cues and latch or paced bottle feedings. The next may be breast comfort and bathing your baby. A little later on, baby wearing and sleep strategies. At each and every visit with a doula? Time for you to rest, for help with household tasks, for sharing and asking questions. Even if you are not sure what you want during your early visits together, your doula has the experience to guide and offer what seems needed that day. Rest assured.
Visits with your doula always begin with an assessment of your needs and setting up goals for your time together; discussing and fine-tuning your care so that it is unique to you and your baby and to that particular day. A first visit will most likely focus on your birth and your perinatal recovery; your baby's feeding cues and latch or paced bottle feedings. The next may be breast comfort and bathing your baby. A little later on, baby wearing and sleep strategies. At each and every visit with a doula? Time for you to rest, for help with household tasks, for sharing and asking questions. Even if you are not sure what you want during your early visits together, your doula has the experience to guide and offer what seems needed that day. Rest assured.
postpartum support gives you time to catch your breath & reset
More often than not new parents fall behind in nurturing themselves in ways they previously enjoyed. A nap, a quick phone call or a shower can seem nearly impossible in the early days and weeks at home with a newborn. Along with easing the burden of your daily lives by offering to take care of routine household tasks, you can rely on your doula to help you carve out time during a visit to luxuriate in some time for yourself. You pick what you'd like to do! No need to rush or be on alert with a half-listening ear at these times. You can trust your doula to bring you back into the picture as soon as your baby needs you, but in the meantime you can take care of whatever your heart desires and recharge your batteries, gently easing yourself into life with your newborn family member.
More often than not new parents fall behind in nurturing themselves in ways they previously enjoyed. A nap, a quick phone call or a shower can seem nearly impossible in the early days and weeks at home with a newborn. Along with easing the burden of your daily lives by offering to take care of routine household tasks, you can rely on your doula to help you carve out time during a visit to luxuriate in some time for yourself. You pick what you'd like to do! No need to rush or be on alert with a half-listening ear at these times. You can trust your doula to bring you back into the picture as soon as your baby needs you, but in the meantime you can take care of whatever your heart desires and recharge your batteries, gently easing yourself into life with your newborn family member.
a postpartum doula can help you reach your daily & long-term goals
The aim of a postpartum doula is to be a positive and comfortable addition to your home after the arrival of your baby; offering support, care, and assistance where it is needed and appropriate. You are the expert when it comes to knowing what is best for you and your family, and your doula will be on the lookout for ways to bolster your efforts and ease your transition & recovery. Maybe it's running a bath for you and emptying the dishwasher; maybe reviewing how to swaddle, setting up a diaper changing station, sharing some baby soothing techniques; or acting as your sous chef and getting that night’s dinner set up. And nighttime care? That means you can pare down your involvement to just the time it takes to nurse or pump (if applicable) while your doula takes care of your baby & some quiet nighttime tasks. All while you’re maximizing your sleep.
A doula’s personal care and attention, day or night, can help tip the balance from tired and overwhelmed to refreshed and confident. You’ll be looking forward to the next postpartum visit with your doula, no doubt!
The aim of a postpartum doula is to be a positive and comfortable addition to your home after the arrival of your baby; offering support, care, and assistance where it is needed and appropriate. You are the expert when it comes to knowing what is best for you and your family, and your doula will be on the lookout for ways to bolster your efforts and ease your transition & recovery. Maybe it's running a bath for you and emptying the dishwasher; maybe reviewing how to swaddle, setting up a diaper changing station, sharing some baby soothing techniques; or acting as your sous chef and getting that night’s dinner set up. And nighttime care? That means you can pare down your involvement to just the time it takes to nurse or pump (if applicable) while your doula takes care of your baby & some quiet nighttime tasks. All while you’re maximizing your sleep.
A doula’s personal care and attention, day or night, can help tip the balance from tired and overwhelmed to refreshed and confident. You’ll be looking forward to the next postpartum visit with your doula, no doubt!
a postpartum doula offers reassuring breastfeeding support ~ especially helpful on day three & four postpartum
For breastfeeding parents, an especially comforting and important time to have support is on days three and four postpartum. This is when your breast milk is transitioning from the smaller amounts of colostrum to the more abundant volume of mature milk. Baby’s tiny tummy, at first only as big as a cherry, is a good match for the first days of the rich, thick golden milk as long as baby is put to the breast early and often. But many families get nervous about their baby getting enough to eat as the milk volume just begins to increase. It can be a huge comfort to have a knowledgeable support person at your side to help you assess, encourage, and guide you through these delicate few days.
This is also a great time to check in about how your baby feels at the breast so you move through the next days in comfort and with continued confidence. Your doula can help get things back on track if that's what's needed or just offer some reassurance that what you’re experiencing is natural and normal for a newborn!
For breastfeeding parents, an especially comforting and important time to have support is on days three and four postpartum. This is when your breast milk is transitioning from the smaller amounts of colostrum to the more abundant volume of mature milk. Baby’s tiny tummy, at first only as big as a cherry, is a good match for the first days of the rich, thick golden milk as long as baby is put to the breast early and often. But many families get nervous about their baby getting enough to eat as the milk volume just begins to increase. It can be a huge comfort to have a knowledgeable support person at your side to help you assess, encourage, and guide you through these delicate few days.
This is also a great time to check in about how your baby feels at the breast so you move through the next days in comfort and with continued confidence. Your doula can help get things back on track if that's what's needed or just offer some reassurance that what you’re experiencing is natural and normal for a newborn!
ongoing postpartum doula support can be a lifesaver beyond the first week
In the weeks following the very early days, ongoing postpartum support continues to be invaluable to families adjusting to their new arrival. Postpartum visits provide a special time of day or night when you can look forward to feeling caught up, rested, and back on track for at least the time being. That’s a wonderful feeling!
It can also be extremely valuable for new questions, discussions, and continued reassurance as parents chart this new ground. There is nothing like face-to-face, comprehensive support through the early weeks or months. What better investment can you make to nip feeding challenges in the bud, stay ahead of exhaustion, and enjoy the companionship and help of an experienced, non-judgmental and compassionate visitor?
In the weeks following the very early days, ongoing postpartum support continues to be invaluable to families adjusting to their new arrival. Postpartum visits provide a special time of day or night when you can look forward to feeling caught up, rested, and back on track for at least the time being. That’s a wonderful feeling!
It can also be extremely valuable for new questions, discussions, and continued reassurance as parents chart this new ground. There is nothing like face-to-face, comprehensive support through the early weeks or months. What better investment can you make to nip feeding challenges in the bud, stay ahead of exhaustion, and enjoy the companionship and help of an experienced, non-judgmental and compassionate visitor?
a postpartum doula can help you find additional support
It is helpful to note your postpartum doula does not include diagnosis or personal help with medical concerns. Doulas will not act like or attempt to replace your primary care provider. When circumstances are beyond a postpartum doula’s scope of practice, though, you can be comforted to know that your doula is a great resource for helping you find professional care for you or your baby. A doula is familiar with skilled mental and/or physical health care professionals, community organizations, and/or other support professionals near you. It’s important that you and/or your baby get any additional support you need to ensure you're in good hands and good health overall.
It is helpful to note your postpartum doula does not include diagnosis or personal help with medical concerns. Doulas will not act like or attempt to replace your primary care provider. When circumstances are beyond a postpartum doula’s scope of practice, though, you can be comforted to know that your doula is a great resource for helping you find professional care for you or your baby. A doula is familiar with skilled mental and/or physical health care professionals, community organizations, and/or other support professionals near you. It’s important that you and/or your baby get any additional support you need to ensure you're in good hands and good health overall.
ideas for daytime postpartum support visits
Here are a bunch of possibilities!
Here are a bunch of possibilities!
- Helping you process your birth experience
- Supporting your physical recovery after childbirth
- Hands-on infant care guidance & education
- Support for physical recovery from birth
- Support for the emotional adjustment to parenthood
- Being alert to postpartum mood disorders
- Helping you understand your baby’s feeding and sleep cues
- Soothing your baby and sharing baby soothing techniques
- Demonstrating newborn care, including diapering, swaddling & bathing
- Support and assistance with breastfeeding — positioning & latch for optimal breastfeeding; instruction and guidance with pumping, milk storage & feeding of expressed milk
- Support and assistance with formula feeding, including bottle-feeding guidance & safe formula prep/handling
- Cleaning and assembling pump supplies and/or bottles
- Caring for your baby when you or your partner want to nap, shower or spend time with your other children or each other
- Baby wearing instruction & modeling
- Assisting with home and nursery organization
- Assisting with the care of older siblings and helping them adjust to the new family member
- Light housekeeping such as dishes and laundry
- Light meal prep
- Running errands and/or grocery shopping
- Assisting with pet adjustment & care
- Offering nonjudgmental support for the entire family
- Providing resources and referrals within your community as needed
what does a nighttime postpartum support visit look like?
Nighttime visits can include some of what a postpartum doula might accomplish during a daytime visit (see previous post), fitting in time for chatting, questions & support. A doula brings a calm, quiet nighttime energy into your home and fine-tunes the visit toward maximizing your family's sleep.
Here are some ideas specifically suited to nighttime support!
Nighttime visits can include some of what a postpartum doula might accomplish during a daytime visit (see previous post), fitting in time for chatting, questions & support. A doula brings a calm, quiet nighttime energy into your home and fine-tunes the visit toward maximizing your family's sleep.
Here are some ideas specifically suited to nighttime support!
- If you're breastfeeding your baby, they are brought to you to nurse as needed, then gathered up when you're finished
- Nursing sessions can be for dozing off with baby at the breast while your doula watches over you, for support or friendly chatting while you're nursing, or for quickly pumping while your doula takes care of bottle-feeding your expressed breast milk elsewhere
- You get to take a break from changing diapers, burping, and soothing your baby for a nice long stretch — all night!
- If exclusively bottle feeding, you and your partner sleep the night away while your doula tends to your little one entirely
- Appropriate household tasks or some food prep are quietly done for you
- Pump supplies and/or bottles are washed and prepared for the next day
- Get help organizing your nighttime routines for optimizing sleep for all
build a network of support before your baby arrives
An expanded network of support for your postpartum period may include community groups, others who have babies too, or supportive postpartum care providers. Meeting up or introducing yourself prior to your baby's birth is ideal so that you're not a stranger when it comes time to reach out. If something feels wrong or you have a question or concern, you'll have expertise, companionship and wisdom at your fingertips. Expect you'll have times when you'll need targeted support in the early weeks. This expanded network can help you achieve greater peace of mind and help you to get back on track if a tricky situation arises.
An expanded network of support for your postpartum period may include community groups, others who have babies too, or supportive postpartum care providers. Meeting up or introducing yourself prior to your baby's birth is ideal so that you're not a stranger when it comes time to reach out. If something feels wrong or you have a question or concern, you'll have expertise, companionship and wisdom at your fingertips. Expect you'll have times when you'll need targeted support in the early weeks. This expanded network can help you achieve greater peace of mind and help you to get back on track if a tricky situation arises.
safeguard the very early days
You can protect the early moments with your newborn by restricting company in the first few days after birth. This precious time can be reserved especially for you to get to know your new arrival, catch up on rest, and to get those important early feedings under your belt. You can stay in your pajamas and post a note on your door to explain why you might not be answering, or to please keep their visit short while you get to know your new little one.
At the same time, try not to feel shy asking for or accepting offers of help that you could really use. You can think of it as something you're doing especially for your baby! Food drop-offs are always the most welcome. A family member or friend may ask if you need anything from the store or if they could walk your dog for you. Be creative and ready with an idea or two if someone inquires.
You can protect the early moments with your newborn by restricting company in the first few days after birth. This precious time can be reserved especially for you to get to know your new arrival, catch up on rest, and to get those important early feedings under your belt. You can stay in your pajamas and post a note on your door to explain why you might not be answering, or to please keep their visit short while you get to know your new little one.
At the same time, try not to feel shy asking for or accepting offers of help that you could really use. You can think of it as something you're doing especially for your baby! Food drop-offs are always the most welcome. A family member or friend may ask if you need anything from the store or if they could walk your dog for you. Be creative and ready with an idea or two if someone inquires.
respect the transition from womb to world
The first three to six weeks are a time of gentle transition into the outside world for a newborn, away from their perfect environment in utero where every need was being met instantly & around the clock. During this time after birth your baby’s wants and needs are one-and-the-same and you can trust that meeting those needs day and night will benefit you both. You and your baby can hit your stride with “early and often” feedings and holding your baby whenever you or they want. You're both learning and getting to know the other.
The first three to six weeks are a time of gentle transition into the outside world for a newborn, away from their perfect environment in utero where every need was being met instantly & around the clock. During this time after birth your baby’s wants and needs are one-and-the-same and you can trust that meeting those needs day and night will benefit you both. You and your baby can hit your stride with “early and often” feedings and holding your baby whenever you or they want. You're both learning and getting to know the other.
nap often in the tiring early days
Waking and feeding at night is the biological norm for your baby during their early months and beyond. That’s a huge adjustment for all new parents and can make the postpartum period very challenging. This especially rings true as time goes on and the weariness accumulates. When considering ways to manage this exhaustion, it's helpful to start planning for your nighttime by being creative beforehand.
Waking and feeding at night is the biological norm for your baby during their early months and beyond. That’s a huge adjustment for all new parents and can make the postpartum period very challenging. This especially rings true as time goes on and the weariness accumulates. When considering ways to manage this exhaustion, it's helpful to start planning for your nighttime by being creative beforehand.
- get in sync with your baby for the first weeks and months – grabbing sleep whenever you can, such as going to bed early or taking shifts with a partner or family member
- broaden your imagination to include periods of rest throughout the 24 hours that each day has to offer
- if breastfeeding, work with your body's hormones after feedings to help you fall asleep as your baby does
- strive to achieve comfortable, relaxing, non-stimulating nighttime feeds
look forward to the six-week 'sweet spot'
By the time your baby is about six weeks old, life will begin to feel much more settled. There is more predictability and you all have some growth and experience under their belts! These first 40 days, often called the ‘fourth trimester,’ are a time of transition into the daily rhythms of the months to come. Days and nights have become more discernible and feedings methods are usually well established. You and your baby have gotten to know each other.
The days and nights that seemed so long and exhausting at first, may soon feel a short time-span in the overall scheme of things. By focusing on one day at a time, prioritizing the needs of you and your baby, and reaching out for help and support as you go along, you can get there more smoothly. Then you can enjoy the equilibrium of this first sweet spot.
By the time your baby is about six weeks old, life will begin to feel much more settled. There is more predictability and you all have some growth and experience under their belts! These first 40 days, often called the ‘fourth trimester,’ are a time of transition into the daily rhythms of the months to come. Days and nights have become more discernible and feedings methods are usually well established. You and your baby have gotten to know each other.
The days and nights that seemed so long and exhausting at first, may soon feel a short time-span in the overall scheme of things. By focusing on one day at a time, prioritizing the needs of you and your baby, and reaching out for help and support as you go along, you can get there more smoothly. Then you can enjoy the equilibrium of this first sweet spot.
melt into your newborn's early weeks
What does that mean?
It’s understanding that your baby’s wants are your baby’s needs. It’s relaxing into those needs and trusting there is no spoiling your baby during this time and that no “bad habits” are being formed. It’s “babying the baby” so they can grow and thrive with a solid foundation for going forward. As long as your baby is full-term and has no health concerns, you can let them be your guide.
Does that mean forgetting about your needs? Definitely not! That needs equal attention. You must both be thriving for all to be well. By feeling less anxious about the thought of spoiling your baby, though, worrying that you’re picking them up or holding them too much or are responding to their feeding cues to quickly, you can more confidently relax into these weeks and get the rest and recovery you need for yourself, too.
It’s all about the well-being of you both — both of you thriving, both of you building on your successes, both of you developing trust in the other. You and your baby can melt into each other as you gently make your way through the tender early postpartum time.
What does that mean?
It’s understanding that your baby’s wants are your baby’s needs. It’s relaxing into those needs and trusting there is no spoiling your baby during this time and that no “bad habits” are being formed. It’s “babying the baby” so they can grow and thrive with a solid foundation for going forward. As long as your baby is full-term and has no health concerns, you can let them be your guide.
Does that mean forgetting about your needs? Definitely not! That needs equal attention. You must both be thriving for all to be well. By feeling less anxious about the thought of spoiling your baby, though, worrying that you’re picking them up or holding them too much or are responding to their feeding cues to quickly, you can more confidently relax into these weeks and get the rest and recovery you need for yourself, too.
It’s all about the well-being of you both — both of you thriving, both of you building on your successes, both of you developing trust in the other. You and your baby can melt into each other as you gently make your way through the tender early postpartum time.
you are each learning "how to"
With the early days being all about rest and feedings, it provides you a perfect, built-in opportunity for you and your baby to get to know each other well and learn how to do all that your new roles require of you. It’s lucky that you can’t spoil a very new baby, so you're free to hold your baby close whenever you or your baby wants — and you'll get plenty of second chances, too, for those little mishaps or first tries along the way. You’ll soon learn how to take care of your own needs at the same time, too; resting when baby rests, having quick & healthy snacks close at hand, making sure you are in a comfortable and relaxing spot when feeding your little one. It’s a time of being patient with each other; building a healthy, trusting relationship and a solid foundation on which to build and go forward with.
With the early days being all about rest and feedings, it provides you a perfect, built-in opportunity for you and your baby to get to know each other well and learn how to do all that your new roles require of you. It’s lucky that you can’t spoil a very new baby, so you're free to hold your baby close whenever you or your baby wants — and you'll get plenty of second chances, too, for those little mishaps or first tries along the way. You’ll soon learn how to take care of your own needs at the same time, too; resting when baby rests, having quick & healthy snacks close at hand, making sure you are in a comfortable and relaxing spot when feeding your little one. It’s a time of being patient with each other; building a healthy, trusting relationship and a solid foundation on which to build and go forward with.
How To by Liana Finck "How to Parent / How to Baby" (The New Yorker magazine)